The Groom's Room!
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It's a fact - when it comes to weddings, the man of the hour is every bit involved as the blushing bride . and he should be. Traditionally, he pops the questions, purchases her rings, arranges and pays for the honeymoon . and more and more often helps to plan the big day. Then there is the selecting of the men's attire and gifts, making sure that "his" friends and family members are on the guest list, coordinating wants and wishes for the bridal registry . yes, this is definitely an event for thetwoofyou from start to finish!With an eye to that, California Weds is proud to announce the addition of this new section designed especially with grooms in mind.
"The Groom's Room," featuring articles on men's formalwear, a California Groom and his story, and tons of other good stuff, de?buts in this issue. We're excited to know that the many engaged men who already read and benefit from our publication now have their own niche to explore and enjoy. Happy reading!
The Men's Attire
Formalwear has gone high fashion, and there are more options than ever before when it comes to creating a tastefully distinctive look for your wedding day. Even if you avoid malls like the plague, this is one time you might actu?ally have fun shopping, especially if you take your fiancée along (highly recommended!) for the ride. The experts can help you select an outfit that's appropriate for the season, for the wedding style, and for you! After that, it's a matter of personal taste. Cummerbund or vest? Pattern or solid? Bowtie, four-in-hand, or cravat? You'll know when you've hit on the right combination.
The groom is responsible for selecting not only his own attire, but also that of the groomsmen. Be sure you and your attendants get personally fitted if at all possible, and that every member of your wedding entourage tries on his tuxedo well in advance - and absolutely no later than two days before the ceremony - to allow for corrections and al?terations. This one is important! Don't forget that everyone will need the right shoes, as well. And please, no white socks!
Let's Hear It For The Guys!
Of course, the focus of every wedding is going to be the bride and her maids. But nothing completes the picture so perfectly as a row of handsome gentlemen, dressed to the nines, waiting expectantly for the beautiŽful ladies in their beautiful gowns. This is the traditional format for many ceremonies. But modern brides and grooms have other options, including having each groomsman escort a bridesmaid, asking the bride's parŽents to go with her down the aisle, or even choosing to walk together to the altar. There is no "right" way to have a wedding.
So, other than looking dapper, just what are the men in a wedding expected to do?
The Bridegroom -
The man of the hour, is, first and foremost, there to marry the woman he loves. Prior to the wedding, the bridegroom typically helps with the overall planning. He also chooses the groomsmen, selects his and his attendants' attire, and arranges for fittings and delivery. He orders the bride's bouquet, mothers' corsages and men's boutonnieres. Additionally, he works with the hosts (usually his parents) to deterŽmine the style and location of the rehearsal dinner, arranges for transportation to and from the wedding, handles accommodaŽtions for out-of-town guests, takes care of the marriage certificate and clergy fees, and plans and pays for the honeymoon.
The Best Man -
This distinguished position, corresponding to the bride's maid of honor, is usually filled by someone close to the groom, often a brother, father or dear friend. He is there to support the groom, and to make sure nothing is forgotten or overlooked. He is the attendant closest to the groom during the ceremony, and one of the best man's most important duties is to safeguard the bride's wedding ring, handing it to the groom at just the right moment. He generally plans the bachelor party and is responsible for seeing that the groom gets home safely, and then to the church on time. He supervises the groomsmen, and may oversee the return of rented formalwear. At the reception, he usually gives the first toast, thanking the bridesmaids and the guests, and saluting the newlyweds with best wishes. If the groom desires, he may have a female honor attendant, in which case she is called the best woman, or the best person.
The Groomsmen -
Usually selected by the groom from among his friends and family (and, sometimes, the bride's famŽily), the groomsmen serve as ushers prior to the ceremony, escorting guests to their seats. Depending on how the wedding is arranged, they may also escort the bridesŽmaids down the aisle and to the reception, where dancing with the bridesmaids and other single ladies is just one of the many pleasant responsibilities a man takes on when he accepts the honor of serving as a groom's attendant.
The Father of the Bride -
For "daddy's little girl," what could be sweeter than walking down the aisle to the strains of Mendelssohn's Wedding March, arm in arm with the first man in her life? His conŽventional role is to respond to that timeless question, "Who gives this woman?" He may answer, "I do," or, in recent years, it's become popular to acknowledge his life partner, with a response of "Her mother and I do." He may lift the bride's veil and give her a kiss before moving to a seat of honor. And although quite a few couples today prefer to manage their own financial arrangeŽments, the bride's father traditionally pays for the wedding, as a gift to his daughter and new son-in-law.
The Ring Bearer -
Primarily a symŽbolic title, the ring bearer usually has no true responsibilities, but he is an awfully cute adŽdition to the marriage celebration. Typically a young male relative of the bride or groom, the ring bearer carries a ceremonial white satin pillow on which two wedding bands rest. Imitation rings are often used (the best man and maid of honor hold the real ones) for safety's sake, or the actual rings can be attached lightly to the pillow with a piece of thread or ribbon. It is advisable to choose a ring bearer who is at least three years old. Men's formalwear shops can suggest and provide appropriate attire.
The Bachelor Party
Happily, when it comes to the bachelor's last hoorah, wild bacchanalian binges are out of style (and taste). The stereotypical "drink-'til-you-drop-while-a-girl-pops-out-of-the-cake" nights are, to everyone's relief, the stuff of old movies. But that doesn't mean you and your buddies can't have a great time celebrating your good fortune. The best man is traditionally responsible for arŽranging the bachelor party. And you, Lucky Guy, can be ready with some suggestions:
. a golf outing
. dinner and smokes at a fine cigar bar
. a camping or fishing trip
. a poker night
. a evening of bowling or billiards
. a tailgate party at a ball game
The bachelor party is usually held sometime during the week prior to the wedŽding, but never, ever, the night before the ceremony. You'll want to be in peak form, and there's nothing better than a good rest to help you look and feel your best. Party heartily, but party smartly!